Rise of the Northstar, “Here Comes The Boom” (AKA, Snoochie Boochies)

Rise of the Northstar are reportedly a “popular” European heavy metal/hardcore band, and they will be releasing their second full-length album, *The Legacy of Shi, on October 19th. Gojira’s Joe Duplantier produced the album, which might account for the production quality of what we can hear on the newly released track/videoHere Comes the Boom,” but certainly we can’t hold Duplantier accountable for Rise of the Northstar’s poor choice in aesthetics… we can only hope that he said something and they ignored him.

We can only ask as we stare slack-jawed at the Jason Mewes (Jay of Jay and Silent Bob fame) wannabe sporting the Mike Muir hardcore look of bandana, block-letter hat flipped high, and, yes, even the body language. Then there’s the European attempt at a hispanic hardcore accent in the vocals… what in the fuck? With the European accent it just comes across as “trying way too fucking hard.”


Snoochie Boochies, baby

But the cultural appropriation doesn’t stop in Los Angeles, no, it continues into Asia with Japanese-based costumes. OK, that wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t look so much like Slipknot meets Baby Metal meets the ‘80s.

So, if you turn off your eyes, what are you left with? A shitty accent trying to sound gangsta and hard, a laughable song title, enough production to sound like there might be a decent live performance, and at its core, nothing that Suicidal Tendencies didn’t do in the ‘80s. Look, the song title and the image wouldn’t be an issue if these guys weren’t taking themselves so goddamn serious.

Ultimately, Rise of the Northstar might have a short stint succeeding on a few festivals in the years to come, but by and large these guys are a flash in the pan.

Check out “Here Comes the Boom” in the player on this page.

Rock Hard \m/

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