The Mummy (1932)
In the pantheon of classic horror movies from Universal, The Mummy is often left out. However, despite the fact that it’s not as well known as Frankenstein or The Creature From The Black Lagoon, it’s still a memorable film, featuring Boris Karloff as Imhotep, an Egyptian priest, returned from the dead to seek his lost love.
This film is only 73 minutes long, and, like most of the other Universal films, it flies by. Any excess fat from the story has been trimmed, leaving us with a lean, driven narrative. Also, the make-up and set design in this movie are great. While it may not have had the impact that it’s more Dracula-ish brethren had, it’s still a great movie.
I saw this film in a Dollar General in rural North Carolina, and I was struck immediately by how well the title must possibly represent the contents of the film. There’s no way that this film is not about a killer bear, I thought. It has the word BEAR written in all capital letters on the front, with a picture of a bear under it. Of course, it could always possibly pull a Tyrannosaur, and be about an aging alcoholic and his anger issues, but this was being sold, used, at a Dollar General, in the middle of nowhere. If this had been some deep think piece, the store could easily have been set on fire by the cops coming to see what caused the revenge-slaying of the cashier.
This is a great example of a modern B-film. The actors display every emotion like the is trying to film facial expressions from space, and the script is haunting in its ineptitude. It’s like what robots would write if they were trying to prove they were humanly fallible too. Every scene is staged with the same eerie removal from reality as well. At one point, a man shoots a bear and then chases after it, running two feet behind it, shooting it in the ass until it dies. “That bear was innocent” another man yells. A second bear wanders over, and a woman says, “Oh my God, that’s not the same bear!” From this, you can assume that the director just wanted to retire, but didn’t have the balls to tell his producer upfront.
A lot of the shots of the bears are live action, and most of the time, they move with the same lazy, uncaring attitude of a bear who doesn’t know that he’s in a terrible film. In that way, the bears are kind of meta, elevating BEAR from forgettable schlock to the perfect bad film to watch on.
Oh, and onegame.
SLENDER, from Parsec Productions, isn’t a new game. But it is a free game. It’s based on that piece of Internet folklore called The Slender Man, a faceless being who kidnaps children. The gameplay is simplistic, and the story seems non-existent (you’re in some woods, looking for some pages, armed with only a flashlight and your ability to not scream at the monitor), but it’s extremely engaging and a fun time for everyone.
Also, it scared the hell out of me, as seen below.