The Bench (2012): You Don’t Want To Sit Here [VIDEO]

“Every year, over 250,000 people go missing in the UK alone. Many of them are never found.” That, my fiends, is what you call an intriguing tagline. Up for viewing, and reviewing, on this beautiful (and quite appropriate) Friday the 13th weekend, is a trailer for Quarantine Films’ newest feature-length film, The Bench. Harkening back to all those ’70s and ’80s slasher flicks that we hold dear to our ruthless and maniacal little hearts, The Bench is based on the premise that sometimes, when you go into that scary cabin in the woods for a fun little party with friends, you might discover a weird room in the basement, with a bench covered in blood, and then, well, you might end up on that bench.

I love slasher flicks. And like all the good ones, The Bench gives us a backstory myth that helps introduce the creepy-ass guy who’s doing the slashing. Legend has it that a boy named Chester Oakes used to live in the cabin with his father, who was a hunter that sold his wares at the market to make ends meet. On one particular hunting excursion, Chester’s father didn’t return, and Chester later found him in the woods, caught in a trap. Like any good, little, potential serial killer boy would do, Chester brought his father back to their cabin, to The Bench in the basement, and chopped daddy up. You know, like he used to do with any injured animal caught in a trap.

We’re also told that Chester wasn’t particularly cultured, or exactly right in the head. From the day of the patricide, Chester was never seen again, and now a bunch of college kids are staying in his old cabin. Which gives us a perfect recipe for some slayage of the college kid variety. My favorite kind.

Here’s Sean Paul Wilkie’s pitch to you for funding

It’s been ages since we’ve seen a good, non-torture-porn slasher flick, and I’m more than excited to get my hands on this one. Production started nearly 5 years ago, in 2008, and has since started, and stalled, and started and stalled. Shooting is completed now, and though they’ve blown through their original budget, Quarantine Films and director/writer Sean Paul Wilkie are determined to see his brain-child come to fruition. Unable to find funding elsewhere, Wilkie and Producer Chris Somerville have had to create an IndieGoGo campaign in an effort to get over the final hump and get this movie out for horror lovers around the world.

If you wanna help them (you’ll get some neat little thank-you gifts), head on over to, and find out how you can help. Not all movie makers get multi-million dollar budgets, and sometimes the best flicks are the ones that you can help create.

Check out the official trailer for The Bench, and let us know what you think. If the feature is anything like the trailer, it’s got mad potential, and I’m amped to see the final project.

Stay Scared, kids.

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