Lady’s, what ever happened to flashing your tits at a metal show? Oh, you only do that at a Steel Panther show these days. Well, I guess I’m gonna have to check them out next time they pass through.
Granted, in the past most tits were flashed at so-called metal shows like Poison, Motley Crue, Ratt, Cinderella, etc., (which is in line with a Steel Panther crowd) and not so much at shows like Slayer, Pantera, Cannibal Corpse, Deicide, etc., but it has happened at a Metallica show. So, while the majority of boobs being flashed happened during hair metal shows, I have to wonder why the practice of riding your boyfriend’s shoulders and lifting your top and bra up was never widely adopted across the metal genre. Could it be that hair metal provided a better platform for the opportunity by singing songs about love, heartbreak, sex, and parties? While flashing your rack during songs about the antichrist, black magic, satanic worship, and the oppression of the masses seemed a bit tactless? The party vibe seems plausible, along with the fact that there’s a lot more sausage at “real” metal concerts.
While the camel-toe party sensation of hair metal has all but disappeared outside of old schoolers keeping it alive (along with the last strands of their careers) at various rock fests throughout the nation, Steel Panther parodies the era and reminds us of why it was so much fun. Tits and the retro party experience can be seen in the video for “Party All Day,” performed at 2012’s Download Festival (I think that there were a few Page 3 girls in attendance).
I realize that heavy metal is a bit more serious these days, but I say bring back the tits. No one gets tired of seeing tits and no one is going to condemn you for flashing your tits during a DevilDriver set. Justin Bieber, yes, DevilDriver, no. Being a female heavy metal fan, especially one who flashes her boobies, might not make you attractive to the average metrosexual, but if you’re attracted to metal guys and want to score one, flashing your goods at a metal show is a sure fire way to land one.
Rock Hard \m/