Top 10 Most Uncomfortable Movies! Or: I May Need To Wash My Eyes Out With Turpentine

Top 10 Most Uncomfortable Movies!

No.5 Salo: 120 Days of Sodom

No matter how horrific a situation, it can only get worse if you find yourself completely naked. I can deal with being chased by a chainsaw-wielding masked murderer, I really can. I can keep my composure… but not if my dick is swinging in the wind. It’s tough to choose between using your hands to cover your junk or pumping your arms for more speed.

Salo: 120 Days of Sodom
“Chainsaw… dick… chainsaw… dick…”

Basically, any horrible situation can only get worse if you’re wearing nothing but what God gave you. Which segues nicely into Salo: 120 Days of Sodom, which is all about the kinds of nasty things you can do to another human being once he/she is naked. And I don’t mean the good kind of nasty where you wake up the next morning with a hangover, ruined sheets, and a smile on your face that persists for several days. Sado takes places in Nazi-controlled Italy in 1944. So, right off the bat, we have Nazis — and those guys weren’t exactly known for their sweet dispositions. So what’s a bunch of bored fascists to do? Why, let’s gather up a baker’s dozen of nubile young men and women and see what perverted perils we can put them through! Inspired by the works of the Marquis de Sade, Sado features such sights as The Circle Of Blood, The Circle Of Manias, and the ever popular Circle Of Shit (they ran out of clever names after Manias).

Salo: 120 Days of Sodom
Let’s not forget The Circle Of Nyah Nyah Got Yer Tongue!

Sado is a banquet of sexual degradation and body mutilation that will test the endurance of most viewers. It’s the perfect date night movie! Hey, if your potential mate is willing to sit through this, who knows what else she’s willing to do? Am I right, guys?

No.4 The Human Centipede

I wasn’t entirely sure where to place this one on the list. Not because it doesn’t deserve a spot, but because the hype behind the movie has grown to such mythic proportions that I find myself undecided as to whether or not the movie really is as hideous as described or if the gigantic amount of word of mouth has inflated The Human Centipede’s shock value.

By now you’re all familiar with the basic premise: dumb teenagers stumble across the home of a mad scientist intent on creating the titular creature by surgically attaching three human beings ass-to-mouth. Hilarity ensues!

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

Like an unexpected slap across the face, The Human Centipede definitely leaves its mark. There are sights and sounds in here that you simply cannot wipe from your memory and the actual human centipede is an image that you won’t soon forget. That being said, the movie is terribly (over)acted by a cast mostly hired for their willingness to spend considerable amounts of time with another person’s ass in their face. Like I said, Human Centipede deserves a place on this list, but only time will tell how long it will maintain its standing. Will distance lessen the movie’s impact? Tune in again next time, same Yell! time, same Yell! channel.

No.3 Irreversible

When putting this list together I found myself in the awkward position of needing a really good rape movie, as odd as that sounds. Like most horror movie fans, the first title that popped into my head was I Spit On Your Grave, recently the subject of a 2010 remake.

While the 1978 original certainly ranks way up there on any list of the most disturbing movies ever, it’s such an amateurishly shot and acted production that, despite its undeniable grindhouse feel, lacks that certain “oomph” required to muscle its way onto this top 10. So, away with you, I Spit On Your Grave!

We’ll pretend not to stare at your ass while you walk away.

While all of the movies on this list earned their spot via their entire runtimes, Irreversible earns its rank based only on one moment. One long, drawn-out, excruciating, stomach-churning sequence that makes you feel dirty just by watching. In this scene, Monica Belucci’s character is accosted in a deserted alley and raped for an agonizing, 10-minute long attack where seconds seem to stretch into days. It’s a testament to the horror on screen that you actually feel compelled to leap out of your seat and intervene. Belucci and her assailant go all out on the acting front with screams, biting, kicking, and a liberal use of the “C” word that would cause most nuns to spontaneously combust. I like flame broiled nuns as much as the next guy but this is one scene you couldn’t force me to watch a second time.

No.2 August Underground’s Mordum

August Underground’s Mordum CoverThere’s a morbid online fascination with snuff films. Enter the word “snuff” on any file-sharing search engine and I guarantee you’ll come up with several dozen hits, most of them badly shot and acted short films budgeted like your average hobo’s shopping spree. Much like Nicolas Cage in 8MM, if you’re willing to descend a bit deeper into the underworld of micro-budgeted, independent exploitation film making, you can actually find some decent gems. Well, perhaps decent isn’t the correct word here.

Mordum is a convincingly shot yet totally fake snuff film containing such acts as infanticide, pedophilia, necrophilia, and all sorts of other philias that will get you 25-to-life in a cell with a serial-butt abuser named Bubba. Say “Hi!” for me.

Essentially a murder spree caught on film, Mordum caters to a select kind of horror movie fan looking for realistic violence and broken taboo after taboo. If you’ve got the stomach for it, it’s a good entry point into the much darker world of self-financed horror movies. Just don’t blame me if the neighbors catch you watching it on your 60-inch plasma screen and call the cops.

No.1 A Serbian Film

A Serbian FilmPossessing many of the same qualities as the above mentioned Mordum, A Serbian Film is the current reigning champ of uncomfortable movie making. While Mordum could have easily claimed the number one spot, A Serbian Films wins by virtue of the talent both onscreen and off. While Mordum is something you and your friends could shoot over the weekend (you have really weird friends, by the way ), A Serbian Film is the result of competent direction, a killer script, and a wildly tormented and believable performance by Serbian actor Srdjan Todorovic, who completely commits to the role of a retired porn star unknowingly hired to shoot a snuff film. In a much cooler world, he would be winning awards for his performance.

Well this guy is never getting laid again!

The movie is a melting pot of things that make you go yuck. There’s rape, murder, realistically grotesque beatings… and Todorovic’s descent into madness is so utterly convincing that, by the end, though you still want him to win out against his tormenters, he’s become such a raving beast that your sympathies quickly fade away. A Serbian Film’s most powerful gut punch? A drugged Todorovic is forced to sodomize a masked boy while another actor does the same to a similarly masked woman. The scene ends, the hoods get pulled… and the helpless victims turn out to be our protagonist’s wife and son.

Still want to see it? You sick bastard!

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