Fright Night 3D – Back To The Days When Vampires Didn’t Have Any Pesky Feelings

Yell! Magazine Review: Fright Night 3D

Why remake a cult classic genre film that about 17 people in total have ever heard of?

“Because of me.”

Is there anything trendier than vampires right now? Unlike Bela Lugosi or that guy who played Nosferatu, we’ve hit some weird cultural low point where the best way to sell something is to pump it full of estrogen and market it on its sex appeal to girls who’d rather take Justin Bieber over anything with chest hair [Editor's note: although we're a sick and twisted bunch, we hope that the little girls lusting after Bieber aren't going for anything with chest hair]. First pirates, now the undead.

But, to this film’s credit, we’re offered a different kind of vampire – one who’s been given a decent dose of testosterone and kicks off his night with a tall, frosty Budweiser. Rather than the original’s suave and collected depiction of a 100-something year-old walker of the night, we get a finely toned, self-satisfied man’s man who’s worthy of causing people to lock up their daughters. Also, he’ll rip off your head at a moment’s notice. Now that’s something everyone can enjoy.

SPOILERS AHEAD

In what is essentially a genre-reimagining of Hitchcock’s Rear Window, Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) has finally found solace in having just broke into the popular clique in high school after he’s begun dating resident hot girl, Amy (Imogen Poots – wait no, that can’t be right). His rose-colored school days are quickly threatened by his childhood homeslice Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) who is unnervingly certain that Charley’s mysterious new neighbor, Jerry (Colin Farrell) is actually a vampire. Of course, his initial conspiracy is dismissed on the grounds that “Jerry is just an awful name for a vampire.” And things take off from there.

Considering that the whole draw to Fright Night is sticking a vampire who adheres to old-school rules into a modern day society, it’s no surprise that the film really starts to get rolling the moment Jerry moves in. Anton Yelchin shows off some surprisingly solid acting chops as the only sane man living parallel to a smug and sexually dominant immortal who wants him dead. It makes for a pretty compelling first act and delivers well on the suspense when Charley puts the old rule that a vampire cannot enter a home that he hasn’t been invited into to the test. It’s a scene that truly stands out from the rest, and sets up just how doomed our poor protagonist is going to be.

Now that’s more like it.