Deadgirl (2008)

Johnny becomes ill in the school bathroom and his bowels explode out of his ass. Dwyer returns to the room to take the girl to the hospital to help save Johnny but he is bitten by the dead girl after JT confronts him. JT gets rid of Dwyer and he and Wheeler go in search of new blood knowing that one bite from the dead girl will create a new one.

They need a fresh replacement as the dead girl is beginning to decompose. When they fail to kidnap a chick, she beats them to a pulp even after being struck in the head, they set their eyes on Joann.

Rickie finally decides he has had enough and grabs a machete from his house and goes to the room. He finds Joann and the dead girl chained up to each other.

JT sees Rickie’s disbelief and tries to first calm him, then convince him that he should come on board with the plan as it is the only way Rickie will ever have Joann – Joann having no interest in him otherwise.

The persuasion fails and a bold move by Wheeler toward Joann results in Wheeler losing an arm. Rickie frees Joann and the dead girl in the process. JT receives the dead girl’s wrath by having his upper lip ripped off his face.

The dead girl bites Joann but when the opportunity to bite Rickie avails itself, she passes it by and escapes out the open door. The film ends with the camera showing Joann tied to the hospital bed the dead girl once occupied.

You can see the effort the directors and writer made for this movie, but ultimately they fail to convince us of the likelihood that the events put before us would actually occur. I speak not of the discovery of a naked zombie woman, but what the male characters actually do to her after the discovery.

Yes we understand that JT is fuck up, that Wheeler is a moron with a subservient personality and Rickie is spineless coward, but still its hard to believe that the first two would put their member into something that is dead and both foul colored and foul smelling; and that the last would allow himself to be involved in such a display.

Where the film totally loses credibility is with the Johnny fellatio scene. I don’t care how much you are coerced, cajoled, insulted or have your courage questioned, you would never put your dick into the mouth of a girl who looked the way the dead girl looked, even if you are told she looks that way because she likes the S&M lifestyle. No one is that stupid.

As a final insult to the intelligence of the audience, we see Joann tied to the hospital bed at the movie’s ending, which tells us that Rickie, who throughout the film has tried to convince all involved to free the girl and inform the police, throws away his moral conscience for a crack at Joann. Even if his love was unrequited, even if Joann didn’t follow his instructions which caused her being bitten, and even if, as I said before, Rickie is a spineless coward, it is much more believable he would rush her to the hospital, rather than tie her up turning himself into a second JT in the process.

Although high school boys have a strong sexual desire and their moral consciences are somewhat plastic, this film basically asks us to believe that all the male characters presented are at the level of rutting pigs; that any circumstance which could get them laid is worth it, whether it involves rape, kidnapping, assault, forcible confinement or attempted murder. That the main female character happens to be an animated corpse may mitigate these accusations somewhat, although it does mean all the males concerned are necrophiliacs (or future necrophiliacs in Rickie’s case).

Removing marauding corpses trying to eat the living moves a zombie flick away from its raison d’etre. Although Deadgirl is unique in its presentation (this is the first film I have come across involving zombie rape), it lacks belief and suffers for it.

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