The Tao Of The Hatchet Films: 5 Doctrines You Should Know

Hatchet film Doctrine 4: Don’t Get Into Porn

Hatchet The Movie

Not for the reasons of “You’ll lose your soul and innocence,” but for the reason of “You can’t rip a soul off a body, but a head works fine.” Anyone even remotely involved in porn gets knocked off in the Hatchet films. Even a guy who picked up a video camera on accident that had porn on it was killed. It’s not a moral stance, as much as it’s an absolute law. It’s kind of a twist on the “If you have sex in a horror movie, you die” convention. I hope it starts a trend though. I can’t wait for the uptight, scholarly essays explaining why “If you have sex, for money, as a career, regardless of the embarrassment that you bring to your family, good luck finding a husband, didn’t she go to my high school, in a horror movie, you die.”

Hatchet film Doctrine 5: Anyone Can Show Up

Hatchet 2, Tony Todd

What do Kane Hodder, Joel David Moore, Parry Shen, Robert Englund, Tony Todd, Danielle Harris, Tom Holland, AJ Bowen, R.A. Mihailoff and even, for a brief moment, Lloyd Kaufman, all have in common? You might guess the chapter, Genesis, and you’d be only half right. They’ve all appeared in the Hatchet films so far. At this point, I watch this series, not just to be entertained, but to spot all the cool cameos. Some critics say that it’s distracting, but those critics are probably the same people who liked The Artist. I don’t trust those people.

Hatchet 3 Poster Large

Hatchet 3 is currently in production and I’m pretty excited. Even though Adam Green has given the reins over to BJ McDonnell, camera operator on Hatchet 2, I still have high hopes for it. While it definitely pays homage to the slasher films of the ’80s, the series doesn’t drown itself in references like some movies that claim to also pay homage do. It works completely as its own, kickass entity. Hatchet 1 and 2 are extremely fun movies, and I hope to see this franchise go on for a long while.

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