I approached Gordon with two objectives: one, to get my Re-Animator sleeve autographed, and two, to get a contact for an interview for Yell! I succeeded on both counts, but the results were… a little weird.
First of all, Gordon is a very quiet guy. When he speaks, he speaks with great intelligence and purpose, but for a journalist whose stock and trade is witty small talk, he’s not super approachable. When the conversation hinges on handing the dude twenty bucks for an autograph… let’s just say things were surreal from my side of the table. God knows what nonsense was coming out of my mouth. All I remember was asking how one might get a hold of him for an interview. Gordon silently frowned and reached for his wallet, digging into it begrudgingly and emerging with a single business card.
That’s right. Stuart Gordon handed me a business card. I handed him $20. Um… how do I process this event? First of all, the whole event seemed to degrade both Gordon and myself. I was paying a cool $20 to tell him how great his movies are, finagle an interview, and get a DVD sleeve signed. He was taking $20 to hear how great he was, give an awkward would-be “
Whoa. Seriously? I have no problem forking over what little cash I have to get one of my favorite’s signatures, but the guy isn’t allowed to sign two more measly VHS boxes? It’s twenty bucks, guys. I could just have easily taken that to the Synapse guys, but I wanted to meet Gordon and show him a little geek love, and I’m reprimanded for assuming I can get a few more things signed by this… autograph pimp?
Ugh. Just ugh. What a move. I give Gordon and all the other celebrities the benefit of the doubt and assume these rates have been set by either the convention itself or an agreement between talent representation and Horrorhound or something, but still – not one celebrity could have said, “Fuck it, I’ll sign two or three items per.” I clearly buy the DVDs and merchandise, I’m one of the fans supporting directors like Mr. Gordon, why not? To his credit, the man didn’t really seem into the autograph experience in general, and I don’t really blame him. He’s a director who’s worked with everyone from William H. Macy to David Mamet – I get the feeling charging people to sign Masters of Horror sleeves is a bit beneath him, at least at this stage in his career. If anything, his participation felt more for the fans than for himself, and we should all commend him for it. I think.
After chatting with Gordon, I scurried back to the Synapse booth, feeling a little more used than before. There, I finally reunited with Jayme. As the world’s biggest Twin Peaks fan, she was busy making googly eyes at Sherilyn Fenn. Meanwhile, I noticed that Doug Bradley, aka, Pinhead from Hellraiser, wasn’t busy in the slightest. I decided to give the autograph thing another go.
How did things go with Pinhead?