Because Mondays suck – Here’s your suicide solution.
Welcome to Suicide Monday on Yell! Magazine. Each week we’re going to bring you a favorite girl or two who were featured on SuicideGirls.com during the previous week.
What constitutes a “favorite” girl? Well, she has to meet a few of our standards: She should be fairly heavily tattooed and/or pierced, into one or more of our topics of interest (heavy metal/hardcore rap, horror/sci-fi/action movies, MMA, and/or specific types of video games), and seemingly interesting as a person (as best as we can judge from the brief bio SuicidGirls sends us), and sexy.
Why SuicideGirls? They say it best: “SuicideGirls is a community that celebrates Alternative Beauty and alternative culture from all over the world.” Hey, we’re into that subculture thing too.
Today’s Suicide Monday is a mixed bag, but two of four have red hair (they say redder is better), so at least there’s some semblance of uniformity — oh, and they also have tattoos. Some drink, some don’t, some eat flesh, some don’t, some like the music we like, others don’t, etc., but, if we had that computer from Weird Science, we’re confident that we could build the ultimate woman out of these four fine females.
Our first ginger is Wit Suicide. She’s an adventurous girl who likes to get wet (take that anyway you like, but you’ll have to read her profile to truly get it). She’s a classic rocker, so you know she’ll get along with your mom, who we’d love nothing more than to have over for dinner and then spend the evening in a hammock before moving indoors for some hardcore gaming action (bet you thought that was going somewhere else, dude, she’s met our mom).
After the first jump, you’ll have double vision, no, not because that shot of Monday-morning JD is gonna hit you, but because Carrina and Machete Suicide are showing how true the old adage of two are better than one is. Machete is the blonde (come on, a name like that alone gets her on our list — go team Voorhees) while her partner in crime, Carrina, is the striking Raven-haired beauty. You know, Machete isn’t into sidekicks, but, we would love to pal around with both of these women, smokin’ and drinkin’ and just feeding the jukebox full of credits… just for one night.
The final SuicideGirl, AnnaLee, we’re presenting today is another girl from the scarlet family. Cute as she may be, we have the feeling that she’d talk our ear off… at least judging by her lists that go on and on and on and… Guess she wants to cover her bases, but we’d be satisfied if she’d just cover us. As our readers know, we like a heavily tattoed woman, and we particularly like AnnaLee’s condition of going for the black ink. Sure we like color, but it’s also nice to see someone breaking the trend.
Don’t forget to click on the images for a larger version.
Location: Louisiana, USA
Into: I like to go on adventures, recently went to the rain forests of Belize. I love scuba diving. I’m a complete nerd for biology. I’m in love with my hammock and Harry Potter. I love food and to cook.
Not into: Roaches, clowns, feet, or dope addicts
Makes me happy: Being with friends and loved ones
Makes me sad: Rejection
Hobbies: Scuba, reading, video games, tokin’
5 things I can’t live without: 1. cell, it sucks 2. Cigarettes, though I’m “quitting” 3. Eyeliner. What? A girl’s gotta look good 4. My hammock 5. My Friends
Vices: I don’t always think before I speak, which results in me being loud and very blunt. Also, I tend to go on rants about the biological correctness of statements; my friends hate it.
Thoughts on SG: I love it
I spend most of my free time: Workin’, schoolin’, tokin’, sleepin’
Bands: The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Bob Marley, Steel Pulse, Gogol Bordello, anything Reggae or Ska, any cheesy ‘80s music… Journey and Styx, Local Music
Films: Pulp Fiction, True Romance, Kill Bill, Fight Club, SLC Punk, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Pirates of the Caribbean, Chicago, Phantom of the Opera, Biodome
Books: Harry Potter…. all of them, Confederacy of Dunces, Grendel, A Midsummer Nights Dream, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Fight Club, Invisible Monsters, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Chronic-what-cles of Narnia, Twilight
TV shows: Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, Sealab 2021, Futurama, Arrested Development, South Park, True Blood, Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City, anything on adult swim… except anime
Video Games: Final Fantasy, God of War, Silent Hill, Fatal Frame, Resident Evil, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Zelda, Mario (any of them), Wii golf. I know I’m a loser, I’ll play anything, lets face it I’m a nerd.
Warning: If you click through, your Monday may be very unproductive…
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