Suicide Monday: Drew Carey Never Told Us Ohio Had Such Hot Women

Vice Suicide_main

Credit: SuicideGirls.com

Because Mondays suck – Here’s your suicide solution.

Welcome to Suicide Monday on Yell! Magazine. Each week we’re going to bring you a favorite girl or two who were featured on SuicideGirls.com during the previous week.

What constitutes a “favorite” girl? Well, she has to meet a few of our standards: She should be fairly heavily tattooed and/or pierced, into one or more of our topics of interest (heavy metal/hardcore rap, horror/sci-fi/action movies, MMA, and/or specific types of video games), and seemingly interesting as a person (as best as we can judge from the brief bio SuicidGirls sends us), and sexy.

Why SuicideGirls? They say it best: “SuicideGirls is a community that celebrates Alternative Beauty and alternative culture from all over the world.” Hey, we’re into that subculture thing too.


The Girls

Three, count ‘em, three sexy SuicideGirls for your indulgence in this installment of Suicide Monday. I think you’ll find that Monday’s never looked brighter. Today we have a fiery redhead, just for you *TheMatt, and two blondes, at lease one of whom has sported red hair… calm down TheMatt.

Before we actually introduce you to this week’s SuicideGirls, I just want to know what’s up with *Ohio. While we’re only featuring one girl from Ohio this week, we did notice that SuicideGirls (the website) featured an obstinate amount of girls from the Buckeye State. As we judged last week, this state’s women are grossly under appreciated.

lunar suicideLunar Suicide is up first, and she’s the burning redhead we mentioned just a few short moments ago. Yeah, you might have forgotten our reference, but we assure you that once you feast your eyes on her stunning pics, you’ll never forget her. She claims to be a sailor, and, well, we’re the navy and recommend our seamen for active duty. Seriously though, her taste in music is on the questionable side, her taste in film is varied but we like her picks, and her video game picks are pretty choice.

vice suicide thumbOh, how many vices would you give up for just one night with Vice Suicide? Yeah, we know it’s not metal, but the fact that Vice has listed The Matts as a favorite band gives her cred in our books. She’s a bartender in Colorado and it sounds like a a vacation-and-a-half to take a ski trip to Colorado and find our way into her bar to have her mix us up something special.

patton suicide thumbLast, but not least, we have Patton Suicide. In addition to great taste in classic rock with a good mix of current rock/metal, wicked movie picks, and some pretty incredible book and TV show preferences, this smoking hot blonde has amazing ink in all the right places. Oh, Patton Suicide is our Ohio pic of the week.

Don’t forget to click on the images for a larger version.


Lunar Suicide

Age: 23
Location: I’m Lost

Lunar Suicide

Occupation: Sailor
Current crush: The man from the Old Spice advert
Heroes: Walter Sisulu, Steve Biko, Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, Jenyne Butterfly
Favorite position: Sims Style WooHoo
Sign: Gemini
I lost my virginity: On a boat! Like a Boss! haha
CIGARETTES: Nope
MY DIET: Vegetarian
ALCOHOL: Occasionally
MY DRUG USE: Drug free
MY KINK FACTOR: Talk dirty to me…
MY POLITICS: Politics, who cares?
POT: Nope
MY STATUS: Not telling
MY PIGEONHOLES: Arty, Geek, Gamer
Into: Art – Mark Ryden, Audrey Kawasaki, Lori Earley; Plastic; Junk
Not into: Pretentious people; online arguments.
Makes me happy: Exploring
Makes me sad: Inequality, selfish drivers, cruelty in all shapes and forms.
Hobbies: Pole dancing, burlesque, lomography, painting
Vices: Hello Kitty
I spend most of my free time: Playing computer games, reading, dancing

Lunar Suicide

Bands: The Used, The Cure, Alkaline Trio, Hole, Muse, Death Cab for Cutie, Goldfrapp, My Chemical Romance, 30 Seconds to Mars, Le Tigre

Films: The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Party Monster, Edward Scissor Hands, Pulp Fiction, *Requiem For a Dream, Pan’s Labyrinth, Harold and Maude, Beetlejuice, *A Nightmare on Elm Street (the originals), The Life of Brian, Blade Runner

Books: The Fountainhead – Ayn Rand, Invisible Monsters – Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted – Chuck Palahniuk, Norwegian Wood – Haruki Murakami, The Life of Pi – Yann Martel, A Clockwork Orange – Stanley Kubrick, The Little Prince – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Rant – Chuck Palahniuk, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time – Mark Haddon, Harry Potter

TV shows: Dexter, Californication, Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother, The Simpsons, Scrubs, Greys Anatomy, Veronica Mars, Heroes, Takeshi’s Castle

Video Games: The Sims 3, Final Fantasy VIII, Diablo, War Craft 3, Spore, Age of Empires 2, Theme Park World, Machinarium, Zoo Tycoon, Star Craft 2

Check your vices before clicking through…

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