Playing: July 27th 11:55 p.m., Concordia Hall Theatre
Calling all Gore Hounds! This movie is NOT to be missed if you’re a lover of all things bloody and violent. Inbred takes The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and drowns it in a bucket of boiling blood. A group of juvenile delinquents are taken on a community service trip, but end up finding themselves in a small town full of slack-jawed, banjo-wielding, cousin-fucking yokels, who are none too pleased to have their town invaded by a bunch of snot-nosed outsiders. So what do you do when your little slice of heaven has been encroached upon by wanna-be criminals? You kill them in the most torturous, painful, and inventive ways possible. Obviously.
Screening with: Stay at Home Dad (15 minutes) directed by Andrew Kasch
Dead Bite (2011)
Playing: August 3rd, 11:55 p.m., Concordia Hall Theatre
There is so much stuff in this movie, that it’s hard to get it all in, but I’ll try. There’s B-movie fare, this is a must see. I’m not even positive what the entire premise of this movie is, but it’s something along the lines of this: a group of hip-hop boys go on a cruise with the requisite big-boobed bitches. They come to a mysterious island, and then all hell breaks loose. It’s gonna be fun, I’m telling you!mermaids, busty babes, ghost hip-hoppers, a man-eating shark, hillbillies, non-mermaid , and a rap crew. But that’s definitely not all folks, so if you’re a fan of
Screening with: Petite Mort (5 minutes) directed by Louise Archambault
Best Foreign Film
Schoolgirl Apocalypse (2011)
Playing: July 30th, 10:05 p.m., J.A. De Seve Theatre
Take good girl Katniss Everdeen out of The Hunger Games, throw in bad girl Ivy from Poison Ivy, add a dash of zombie insanity, and a disease caused by electronic devices and only affects men, shake well, and pour into a martini glass rimmed with blood, and you’ve got Schoolgirl Apocalypse. Good girl Sakura begins to notice something is wrong in her world, when dad comes home one night and savagely attacks her and her mother. Mom and dad kill each other, and with no one left in her home, Sakura grabs her bow and arrows, and an English textbook she holds dear, and leaves the house. She meets up with bad girl Aoi, and the two fight to survive in a world gone mad. J-Horror just seems to get better and better with each year (unlike Hollywood), and Schoolgirl Apocalypse is no exception.
Screening with: Status (19 minutes) directed by Richard Williamson
Director to Keep an Eye On
Crispin Mills for A Fantastic Fear of Everything (2012)
Runtime: 100 minutes
Directed by: Crispin Mills
Starring: Simon Pegg, Sheridan Smith, Clare Higgins, Amara Karan, Paul Freeman
Playing: July 31st, 5:15 p.m., Concordia Hall Theatre
In his directorial debut, Crispin Mills managed to snag Simon Pegg as leading character Jack, who’s a children’s book author wanting to step out of the norm and into the world of movies, with his script based on Victorian era serial killers. Filled with paranoia, Jack has delved too far into the world of serial killers, and now is in a constant state of paralyzing fear, believing he is going to be murdered. Add a launderette (Laundromat), a claymation hedgehog, and a pair of dirty underwear, and you’ve got classic Pegg, and a great new to watch out for that would make Tim Burton give a standing ovation.
Dead Sushi (2012)
Japan, Japanese with English subtitles
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: Noboru Iguchi
Starring: Rina Takeda, Shigeru Matsuzaki, Kentaro Shimazu, Takashi Nishina, Asami
Playing: July 22nd, 7:10 p.m., Concordia Hall Theatre
A small inn in a rural countryside is attacked by zombie sushi… yep, you really did read that right.sushi. There’s something about martial arts, and an overbearing sushi-maker father, and a pharmaceutical company as well, but the main thing we need to wrap our heads around here is zombie sushi. I don’t think anything else even needs to be said about that. What else is there to say, anyway? Those two words kind of say it all, don’t they? You can bet your raw-fish loving asses that I’m going to be seeing this flick though. I don’t know about the rest of you, but the bad-movie-loving masochist that lives inside my brain simply cannot let a ridiculous concept like that go by without being there to witness it first hand. Wanna meet at Miso Sushi bar after the screening? Ha ha ha, kidding!
Q&A with the crew of Dead Sushi
Best Use of Stereotyping
Runtime: 94 minutes
Directed by: Jon Wright
Starring: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley, Russel Tovey, Lalor Roddy, David Pearse
Playing: August 4th, 7 p.m., Concordia Hall Theatre
If you’re wondering why the category is what it is, it’s because the premise of this movie has a bunch of amphibious aliens taking over a tiny fishing hamlet in Ireland, and the only way to hurt and kill these aliens is, you guessed it, alcohol-laced blood. So, before jumping into a giant throw-down with the monsters, the villagers live it up at the local pub, imbibing with abandon, and then head off to confront the aliens, both heavily armed, and drunk. As an Irish girl, I’m fucking stoked! I can’t think of a better way to play off the “drunk” stereotype we Irish live with, than to turn it into weapon! Show of hands, how many of you actually plan to see this sober?
Flick That Will Make You Relive Childhood Fears
Under the Bed (2012)
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: Steven C. Miller
Starring Johnny Weston, Gattlin Griffith, Peter Holden, Musetta Vander, Kelcie Stranahan
Playing: July 29th, 3:05 p.m., J.A. De Seve Theatre
Building on the fear all children have, Under the Bed involves a demon, instead of a monster, that repeatedly attacks whatever child sleeps on the bed he’s made his home. For one child, Neal, these attacks led to his burning down his childhood home, and then spending years in a psychiatric hospital. Now he’s back in town, but little does he know, he didn’t destroy the demon on the night of the fire like he’d hoped, and the demon is now attacking Neal’s little brother, Paulie. The brothers join forces and vow to take out the monster, no matter the cost. It seems, at least to me, that sometimes the fear of what may lurk in the dark, never leaves us — even in adulthood. And this film is sure to bring that fear back to the surface.
Screening with: TheKid (7 minutes) directed by Axelle Carolyn
Yell! Festival Favorite
The Devil’s Carnival (2012)
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directed by: Darren Lynn Bousman
Starring: Jessican Lowndes, Paul Sorvino, Bill Moseley, Dayton Callie, Sean Patrick Flannery, Marc Senter, M. Shawn “Clown” Crahan, J Larose, Ivan Ivan Moody, Emilie Autumn, Maggie “Captain Maggots” Lally, The Blessed Contessa (and so many more!)
Playing: July 22nd, 11:55 p.m., Concordia Hall Theatre
The Devil’s Carnival is not only a movie, it’s also an actual carnival, complete with sideshow acts, costume contest, secret projections, and tons of other devilish things. The movie itself is a roaring musical horror/comedy in the genre of Repo! The Genetic Opera and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, that’s based on the same sort of idea as Dante Alighieri’s The Divine Comedy, in that sinners are brought to Hell and forced to relive their wrongdoings for eternity. Only in Bousman’s mind, Hell is a carnival. Our sinners include a kleptomaniac, a naive teenager, and an obsessed father, who find themselves at the doorsteps of the Carnival, which is run by none other than the devil himself. With a cast as eclectic and eccentric as this one, The Devil’s Carnival promises to be the best event of the festival, so get your tickets fast, kids!
Tix for this show cannot be bought at the Fantasia box office, so head on over to www.thedevilscarnival.com, click on the link for tickets, and get yours now! Don’t forget your costumes either, I definitely won’t.
My crystal skull tells me no more than this, my darlings, so here end my predictions. Due to the lack of magic in the air, below you’ll find a just simple list of honorable mentions that I urge you not to miss, without descriptions, or my witty remarks.
Turbo Kid (2011) July 26th, 9:55 p.m. – Concordia Hall Theatre, August 3rd, 11:55 p.m. – J.A. De Seve Theatre
The Haunting of Julia (1977) July 22nd, 3:15 p.m. – J.A. De Seve Theatre
Isn’t Anyone Alive? (2012) July 31st, 9:45 p.m. & August 3rd, 3:20 p.m. – J.A. De Seve Theatre, English subtitles
A Little Bit of Zombie (2012) July 21st, 1:50 p.m. – Concordia Hall Theatre
My Amityville Horror (2012) July 22nd, 10:10 p.m. & July 27th, 5:05 p.m. – J.A. De Seve Theatre
A Night of Nightmares (2012) July 26th, 9:45 p.m. & July 27th, 2:50 p.m. – J.A. De Seve Theatre
Play Dead (2012) July 27th, 9:45 p.m. – J.A. De Seve Theatre
V/H/S (2012) July 28th, 9:10 p.m. – Concordia Hall Theatre