Emo Assault Squadron – By SORP Films

While we were ripping on hardcore dancing, we also came across this little gem from SORP Films (www.hearseclub.com), and we just have to share it with our readers. We promised that it was forthcoming and we always deliver on our promises; if we don’t, you have permission to tie our balls S&M style and crush ‘em in a vice. When someone out there does something interesting and creative, you can bet Yell! Magazine going to plug it, especially when they share the same loathing for emos.

With a multifunction crew of six, SORP Films creates hilarious short films that speak to the purist in all of us with an ounce of dignity and knowledge. Founded by writer, director, actor Zachary Byron Helm, SORP Films is based in Denver, Colorado, and may or may not have been birthed from the also-Zachary-founded Denver Hearse Association. While Zachary is a macabre go-getter, he’s also a master of subculture satire.

Stop crying you emo pussies; this is satire. Sure, there’s always some truth in satire (that’s why it’s funny), but please take this stuff with a grain of salt. You’re young and there’s hope for you to come out of this horrible phase before your mid-20s.

SORP Films has a number of films, including: The League of Extraordinary Industrial Retards to The Legend of Zelda: A Pain in My Ass to My Life in Poo and many more. Today, however, we’re focusing on Emo Assault Squadron.

Emo Assault Squadron

Basically it’s a COPS-style film with two “cops” patrolling the streets in a hearse looking rectify (i.e., beat the shit out of) some emo hoodlums. There are tons of quip-y one-liners like, “He’s running like a fairy, he’s running like a fairy,” and “what’s the most pussiest thing I could drive around on? And it’s most definitely a Vespa.” I won’t spoil all the fun. Emo Assault Squadron is definitely worth repeated viewings. And man, you gotta love that hair!

Rock Hard \m/

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  • Zachary Byron Helm

    Hey, thanks for mentioning the film and the site!